I’ve recently come to a conclusion, and it was over a lunch with my father that the point was seared into my mind: most people live in the shadow of threat. This threat is often nothing more than a naive perception and it springs from the well of insecurity. When one doubts himself in a deep and fundamental way, what recourse do they have when life issues a challenge? More to the point, what recourse do they have when someone who does not doubt themselves, issues a challenge?

The sad realization is most people are not effectively trained to handle conflict. The tendency is to withdraw, ignore, resort to bile, or simply appeal to others to fight on their behalf. I am constantly amazed at how we allow insecurity to dismantle civility and camaraderie.

Stand up and be counted! Wrestle a while and come out stronger for the trial. Such are the actions of one who has in fact grown up — boys flee and cower and malign, but men do battle and this, with honour. Instead, most cast their vote toward misunderstanding as misunderstanding, I think, is a device people most often use to enable their weaknesses. I constantly note people glossing over important pieces of communication, missing critical details, and ignoring honest intentions, choosing rather to extract that which best sees their fragility preserved with no concessions made.

Confronting another, receiving a challenge, and staring wounding in the face, all take courage — where have all the men gone?